‘He never buys me jewelry’ – 13 Questions Men Ask Themselves Before Buying Jewelry
‘He never buys me jewelry’ is one common refrain.
Sometimes it’s phrased as ‘He never buys me jewelry anymore’.
But it’s the same sad song.
To be honest, most married men and men in long-term relationships have no problem buying jewelry.
Provided he knows she likes baubles and isn’t against owning or wearing jewelry, you can pretty much guarantee the average guy is going to buy a piece or three over the course of a relationship with that woman. After all, jewelry is the go-to gift for occasions, lasting much longer than a simpler gift of flowers or chocolates.
Of course, we’re happy to make and sell you high-quality cubic zirconia jewelry and deliver it so you can get all the credit (yes, we are fanatical about making sure we don’t spoil your surprise).
There’s that special moment of “WOW” when she opens it and puts it on the first time…and if it’s great quality jewelry, it holds memories in the precious metal…and that special moment can be re-experienced for many years to come when she wears the piece and remembers all the good times wearing it before— back to that magical, first time.
But we’re not writing today about the guy who ‘gets it’, but the gent who doesn’t.
“I bought her a wedding ring. I’m done. Right?”Many times we talk with a woman buying jewelry for herself and she’ll bend your ear a bit about why she’s purchasing for herself (as if it is somehow a sin, which I’ll save you reading to the end…it’s not!).
If you’re a female employee, you try to commiserate with the customer – even if your guy at home does, in fact, buy you jewelry.
If you’re a male employee, you try to walk the verbal tightrope as you proudly explain you’re not like that in your relationship with your honey— without making her feel like her jewelry-phobic guy doesn’t love her (anymore).
Or at least, that’s what it says in our customer service manual we’re supposed to do.
Do you really want to know why some fellas are gun-shy on pulling the jewelry trigger?
IT ISN’T BECAUSE HE DOESN’T EVER THINK ABOUT IT.He does think about buying you jewelry.
Gonna bold that for you: He does think about buying you jewelry.
Needs more oomph, still, says Mr. Exclamation Point and Mrs. Italicization.
He does think about buying you jewelry!
Now let’s make sure you read that and really internalize what we’re saying, because on the other side of understanding this is receiving all kinds of happy bling surprises for years to come.
He does think about buying you jewelry!But oftentimes the truth is that he doesn’t buy and gift jewelry to you because he doesn’t have a satisfactory answer to one of these 13 obstacle-inducing and anxiety-creating questions that run through men’s minds before purchasing.
And ladies…it only takes ONE negative answer to take an idea he had to surprise you with jewelry and make it something he only thought about…but never took action on (when you never even knew he was thinking about it).
We provide this list so you can…you know…make sure he has all the 411 and…arrange matters to suit yourself (like you always do).
13 Reasons He Doesn’t Buy You Jewelry (anymore)
Why should I when she buys her own jewelry?
Women like to be surprised. She loves to receive meaningful gifts. Ladies love to show a great new fashion item off to their girlfriends (and it’s so much sweeter when it was a gift from her man).
How do I know what she likes?
The secret to successful surprise when giving jewelry gifts is premeditation— just like if you wanted to get away with murder. Talk to her friends. Talk to her sister or cousin. Talk to her mother. Talk to her trusted jeweler. And if all those fail, talk to her directly, get the goods and then WAIT TO GIVE IT TO HER MUCH LATER (and keep that surprise). All of these information sources but she herself can be sworn to secrecy until you’re ready to make your move.
Should I wait until she asks for a specific jewelry?
You could, and some women will oblige. Others will never ask once in 50 years of marriage, but that doesn’t stop her from loving every jewelry piece she receives, wearing it and showing it off. Is she the independent type? Does she take her own lunch to work because it’s more affordable? Did she own her own home herself before you got married? Is she frugal with money? Does she buy for the kids before she thinks of herself? Those are all possible signs she’s never going to ask no matter how much you wait for it.
Is this ‘too expensive’?
Only you can answer that. We will say this, though: for really large amounts that would affect your family’s ability to pay necessary bills, we would recommend don’t surprise her with an expensive gift that big more than once or twice in a lifetime. After all, if you’re like most couples then your earning ability grows over time. That means, what may be a financial stretch today she could be concerned over the expense – even if happy with the gift – may be an easy-buy item 10 years down the line!
Is this not expensive enough for her to appreciate?
Jewelry comes in every price range from 25 cent gumball rings to 50 million US Dollar rare gems sold at auction and planned for a single, one-of-a-kind jewelry piece gifted by a billionaire.
You’ve heard “it’s the thought that counts” so many times, you probably don’t believe it? Try it.
Your jewelry gift doesn’t have to be the Hope Diamond to make her feel special.
While we don’t make our sell any ‘costume jewelry’ made with plated or non-precious metals— and consequently our jewelry catalog of .925 sterling silver, gold, palladium and pure 950 Platinum designs set with AAAAA cubic zirconia are in the hundreds to thousands of US dollar— there’s a place for those cheaper costume jewelry items. For example, Emitations.com makes and sells good jewelry for less than 50 dollars sometimes, and she can get years of enjoyment out of many of their inexpensive products, if properly cared for.
How do I know even if she says she wants it that she won’t just exchange this for something else, like that one time?
You don’t. Women reserve the right to change their minds at any time.
You’re just learning this?
Am I going to kick myself for buying this gold ring if the price of gold goes down?
You might, especially if the drop is big like 10% plus in a day or a week. But you shouldn’t really. It helps to realize that gold is a rare and limited element. It has intrinsic value in all kinds of industrial applications beyond just being used in shiny baubles. It helps, too, to familiarize yourself with the increase in value of gold over the years. Up and up, down, up and up is the trend. Yeah, good jewelry can be an investment too. Here’s the 30 year chart for gold price growth…
Most financial advisors consider gold a safe long-term hedge against other forms of money savings. So don’t worry about a few days or a week…you’re buying jewelry for a lifetime with her!
If you expect the cost of gold to drop, well, by all means go ahead and wait to buy that gold jewelry…if (and this is a big ‘IF’) the jeweler you’re buying from will discount the gold jewelry based on their cost savings to make it then versus when they priced it in their store. You never know ‘til you ask!
CubicZirconia.com does this as a matter of course because it is our policy and practice to change retail prices on our gold, palladium and platinum jewelry products every day with metal markets wholesale precious metal cost changes. Does anyone else do this? Not to this writer’s knowledge.
Is she really going to wear this when she has a bunch of jewelry she rarely wears?
We get it. You may be thinking “She already has a bunch of jewelry she rarely wears. Just about the last thing she needs is another pendant, ring or pair of earrings. The family is getting bigger. Maybe I should get that toaster that toasts 8 pieces of bread simultaneously. Breakfast bliss!”
Some of that jewelry is for certain occasions in her mind, and she wouldn’t dream of wearing it any other time. Some of that jewelry she doesn’t really like anymore. Some she never truly liked, and wore/wears because the giver is close to her heart. Women keep things for all kinds of reasons – sentimental included – and jewelry is no different.
A 5 dollar pair of earrings her son gave her for Mother’s Day when he was 10 may not be the pair she wears all the time, but throw it away because she’s only worn it 4 times in the last decade? Not on your life, buster! Same goes for great-grandma’s yellow sapphires on heavy yellow gold ring. It may not ever again be fashionable…but it’s a family heirloom!
Realize, too, that some of that jewelry is probably broken, and she’s just not gotten around to getting it repaired (you can even be a hero sometimes, and inexpensively, for taking that off her mental to-do list if you know he had a favorite piece and stopped wearing it—we can help with that, contact for help).
Lastly, a woman who really loves jewelry can never have too much of it. Fair enough?
Will she worry/complain we couldn’t afford this?
If you’re like many couples you make large financial decisions together. That means not using money earmarked for necessities to splurge on nice-to-haves.
That also means there is probably an amount of money you mutually feel comfortable with allowing the other partner to spend or invest as they see fit for discretionary stuff. Depending on your level of financial security, that amount for a single purchase may be $200 or $20,000 or more. For most jewelry purchases, choose your budget where you know she’d not object and you’ll be fine.
If you know her well enough to know that she may grumble about the cost openly but secretly be absolutely delighted that you made the purchase…go for it. If and when after giving her the piece you selected the cost comes up as a concern, be sure to listen and acknowledge her comments…smile, shrug, and say “Sorry, but you are worth it!”.
If she continues wearing it with a smile, we’d say ‘you done good’.
How do I know I’m not getting ripped off?
Educate yourself a little. While it can take many thousands of hours to become an expert jewelry-maker or appraiser, it doesn’t take much to learn enough about jewelry to buy from reputable retailers (and know you’re not getting ripped off).
Even if today you know nothing about jewelry except that a person can wear it and your intended gift recipient likes it, you can spend a few hours and get prepared to buy confidently.
Your time will be spent reading reviews on the internet about specific companies and products before making a purchase. The key is to start your research from a position of knowledge…that is, ask for a referral to a jeweler someone else trusted first!
Ask friends, family, co-workers, known jewelry lovers. Or ask your wife! Trust us, the post-knowing-something-is-coming and pre-gift anticipation she’ll feel after that conversation between now and whenever you choose to surprise her will be worth all kinds of good chemistry in your relationship.
Will she approve of who I am buying this from?
See number 10.
Plus, don’t forget to take into account the issue of blood diamonds (also known as ‘conflict diamonds’). If she has strong feelings on those— and many people do— you’d better do your homework before buying anything sparkly!
Wouldn’t this money be better spent on something for the home?
Maybe. That’s for you and she to answer, really. Why not price out what you have in mind as far as jewelry, get clear on what you’re going to buy and from whom and for how much…and then compare that amount to what the equivalent amount of money could accomplish in your household’s home improvement goals? Apples to apples and so forth.
For example, let’s say you work with a jewelry company to find and customize an awesome 14k white gold ring for her. Featuring 2 blue sapphire accent stones for her birth month along with the traditional clear stones, it’s going to cost you $789.25 with tax and shipping included.
Thinking about the home improvement stuff you and she want to do, you realize that it’s going to be about $800 also to put down the new tile in the en-suite guest bathroom (that only really your in-laws ever use when they visit infrequently). You want to do that tile upgrade for sure before you sell the house in 8 or 10 years, but the long-term planner in you thinks it be better to do that now and hold off on buying her that ring til some other time?
Just ask her: ‘Hey, hon, I was thinking about spending $800 of our discretionary money soon. It would be on a jewelry gift for you later this year, which I picked out and really think you’ll like…or we can spend the same amount on that re-do on the tile in the guest bathroom we talked about. What do you think I should do? I think the bathroom can wait til next year or longer, personally.’
Wouldn’t she rather have ‘x’ instead of this jewelry?
Maybe. Ask her, in the same way discussed in number 12.
Ladies, in case your man happens to be a non-jewelry buyer and you want to help…he may be thinking about it but gets caught up in the unanswered questions.
Help him answer the questions: show him this article.
And if all else fails, remember…it’s not against the law to buy your own self jewelry…it’s not a sin, either… don’t let there be any shame in your game, sista!
- Danny Welsh