Challenging the absurd lie about romantic gifts that ‘the more he spends, the more he loves her’

The modern world tends towards chaotic extremes over time. 

If an economic system in any capitalist society is left unchecked, it’s a virtual guarantee that future generations will one day wake up to find that what they were taught is now wrong and the ‘system’ now revolves around the wrong thing.

We’re not anti-capitalist by any means. 

After all, this is a commercial blog for a profit-making business! 

It’s just an observation. 

But an important one to consider for consumers such as our high-quality cubic zirconia plus precious metals jewelry customers to be on their guard against as he/she tries to navigate choices in a world where so many people have bought a hard-sell worldview where the perception is that a man needs to feel shame for not being capable of buying a $5,000+ ring to show his love.

How did that BS perception happen, anyway?

To make a long story short, we think it’s because extremes morph into averages and lies tend to become beliefs over a long period of time-- especially with enough cash pushing the lie and protecting the status quo where the extreme was on its way to becoming normal.

Perhaps a macroeconomic example or two might help shed some light on this?

Here’s one example most people reading this are probably (maybe even painfully) familiar with): Student loans for university education in the United States.

The U.S. student loan system was supposed to help young people get a good education so they could get a good job and strengthen the American economy. 

Over the years, the most aggressive schools pushing student loans at 17-year-old kids to make 6-figure, life-altering decisions with very little financial education...well, they’re the ones that over the last decades established what amount to educational factories with an assembly-line precision earning money at inflated-and-ever-increasing prices the U.S. government allowed, paid and guaranteed-- all while regularly cutting the value and quality of the actual services they provided. 

These extremely aggressive colleges have grown many times over in the recent decades, enjoy ridiculous tax advantages, and face very little regulatory oversight when it comes to financial matters affecting hundreds of millions of people. And the Doberman trusted with the ham sandwich is that these institutions have a vested interest in continuing the new normal they helped create.

Now, the whole U.S. student loan system is pretty much just optimized to make already well-endowed educational institutions rich-- while creating an entire industry of vultures to collect unbankruptable debt. 

What about the much-publicized, multi-decade attempt to “cure cancer”? 

Medicine has been banging its head against the brick wall of cancer cells for over 50 years. And the medical establishment has maybe managed to reduce suffering from the dreaded disease a little...and extend a life a number of weeks or months.  

What a joke.  

It’s not enough. 

And there’s no ‘cure’ on the horizon, either. 

Why all the hype and so little hope for a real cure? 

Some medical experts who can speak publicly without fear of retribution-- because their livelihood doesn’t depend on the companies and institutions pushing the status quo-- could tell you exactly why the massive dollar amounts supposedly thrown at this problem aren’t bringing the results that matter to people dying. 

It’s because now, the vast majority of research dollars in the fight against cancer go to creating life-prolonging drugs for late-stage cancer-- drugs that make Big Pharma rich (but don’t do as much for so many sufferers as prioritizing early detection methods and prevention education could). 

Frankly, the U.S. higher education system might be the biggest scam running. 

And the way Big Pharma continues profiting off of drugs for those dying in late stage cancer misery-- and buying up and closing down any companies doing research on early cancer detection measures-- may be the most evil thing we’ve seen in the world of business.

In our opinion…not far behind on the scammy and evil list, however, is the diamond engagement ring.

Beyond the many, MANY lies the diamond industry has told for decades (many of which we’ve documented on our blog and in our emails)…there’s the big issue of how these solitaire swindlers have commercialized the emotion of love and somehow managed to transform a personal and thoughtful gift into a status symbol that has come to be measured-- and judged-- by the size (and the price tag).

Why do so many otherwise rational people think that the more you spend on that ring & rock, the more you really love her? 

Simply put: because never in the history of mankind has there ever been a more overpriced commodity consumer product than the mined, natural diamond in the last 100 years.

And all that cash flowing for so many years to just a few hands – *cough* the diamond cartel, which manipulated world prices by falsely claiming diamonds are rare when they aren’t— has provided fuel to fan the advertising flames that have seared the desirability of the diamond brand-- and the lie that ‘the more he spends, the more he loves her’-- deeply into the public consciousness.

The diamond hucksters have told a LOT of lies in advertising with the profits of their enterprise. In our opinion, these jerks have had many despicable (and dangerous) business practices over the decades. 

Among the worst non-life-threatening things the diamond cartel did is persuading hundreds of millions of people around the world-- across a number of generations-- of the existing lie about romantic gifts that “the more he spends, the more he loves her”.

The more he spends the more he loves her?

An expense defining an emotion?

That’s always been bullshit and it’s bullshit applied to engagement rings, too.

Here’s how we see it...

> The fanciest restaurant.
>> The most expensive vacation.
>>> The swankiest engagement ring.

Each can be a wonderful gift for the one you love.

No doubt about that.

But in part generally due to the innate tendencies of capitalism to move towards extremes, there is a rampant misconception in today’s culture that a gift giver’s affection increases with the price tag of the gift.

Some people believe the lie.

You can’t change their mind.

We’re not here to change their mind.

And judgment isn’t what’s our motive today.

These folks can be right and leave this website stage left, immediately and without spending any of their hard-earned money with CubicZirconia.com.

That’s fine with us.

Those same people would never think to stop alongside a beautiful field of wildflowers, and ask the property owner’s permission to pick a small bouquet as a gift for their loved one whom they are driving to meet-- but believe spending $200 USD on a bouquet online with a credit card, for delivery to their loved one’s workplace is the height of romance.

We just aren’t compatible in our beliefs about romance-- and that’s okay.

(truthfully, both gifting gestures can be romantic and thoughtful and In our humble opinion it all depends on the couple and the context-- not the cash outlay)

Rarely has this belief that ‘the more he spends, the more he loves her’ been as widespread as with the “diamond engagement ring”.

That way of looking at things leaves out the tremendous importance of shared experience between gift giver and recipient.

The cost of a ring (or any gift) has NOTHING to do with depth of affection.

Let’s say it again with feeling, ok?

The cost of a ring (or any gift) has NOTHING
to do with depth of affection.

In truth…if you picked the right life partner:

• She’ll love your dinner dates together even if you can’t always (or ever) afford the most expensive restaurant.
  
  
• Vacations with the man made to be your perfect pair are going to kick-ass because of who’s there with you more than for who on social media wishes they were there, too, when they see your Instagram pictures.
  
  
• And the engagement ring: A ring will not dictate the value of your marriage

Love is in your heart-- not reflected from how many Instagram likes you get.

Love is in your heart-- NOT worn on your hand.

We think an engagement ring is about symbolizing a life of two together, sharing the experience of experiencing the gift of giving oneself one to the other.

An over-priced diamond really of little intrinsic value can’t touch that.

A token of love is a poor substitute for the real thing.

Money isn't everything.

Being with the one who completes you is everything.

Of course, we do think an engagement ring can and should be purchased as a quality item if you want to participate in the tradition of proposing marriage with the gift of an engagement ring. After all, that ring may be worn day in and day out for decades. Grabbing something made of cheap materials that can’t be worn daily might not be the best way to go-- and that’s exactly what we were thinking when we originated our 5A diamond-quality cubic zirconia stones being set in high-quality precious metal settings.

Our jewelry catalog began offering engagement ring settings no different than what our early customers were finding at retail jewelers they had been considering for a precious metal engagement ring set with diamond. When we chose to pair our stones with pure 950 platinum, 10 karat gold, 14 karat gold, 18 karat gold, .925 sterling silver-- some jewelers called us crazy. 25 years after our first website went online in 1999, to be honest, quite a few other jewelers still think we’re crazy to offer diamond lookalikes for < $75 and refuse to deal in natural diamonds.

Their unasked question: ‘Why turn your back on the fat profit margins you too could be earning on pushing overpriced diamonds like we do?’ Our proud answer is the same today it has always been: love doesn’t have a price tag.

If you came to today’s post not sure yet if you’re going to participate (or participate further) in fattening the diamond cartel’s collective wallet or not-- especially if the jewelry you’re shopping for next is a once-in-a-relationship engagement ring-- we’d like to leave you with a simple question:

Are you really going to let a century-old
marketing campaign dictate how much you
need to spend to “show you really love her”?

We aren’t calling women who love sparkling diamonds materialistic.

Of course, to each his own or her own. Whether bought for herself or received as a gift, if she genuinely loves it...that’s not what we’re saying.

We’re saying a culture that values a bag of smoke over substance is not making decisions in its own best interests.

We’re saying a society that has been programmed to demand debt to purchase diamonds to prove an emotion isn’t making decisions in its own best interests.

We’re saying what each partner in a couple buys for each other as gifts is their business and no one else’s.

Anything else, and some priorities are out of whack in our opinion.

The problem as we see it is when it’s expected in society for a man (or woman) to go into debt to buy a super expensive ring just to prove they love you.

We think the so-called ‘diamond engagement ring tradition’ is one example of where we as a culture- and individually couple by couple-- have a chance to maybe take a step back and give a good hard look at things.

The conversation of “do we want a diamond ring or not?” isn’t really one most couples can avoid. But you shouldn’t try!

It’s a perfect time to lay a lot of related things on the table and together figure out what is *really* important in the life the two of you want to build.

Maybe even have the conversation this young lady recently had with her soon-to-be-fianceé, some months before we read her post-purchase comments: 

“We just rather put it into buying a house than on my finger! I love my ring and get lots of compliments and proudly tell them it's CZ! The choice was harder than we thought. But no one can tell the difference. Your husband should be proud, but if he’s like mine ain’t no one else gonna know it isn’t a diamond. Those diamond bastards just did too good a job brainwashing millions of people.” 

This has just been our humble opinions of course.

Never forget facts!

• Editorial: The team at CubicZirconia.com

Diamond Doubters Manifesto: 9 great Lies of the Diamond Cartel