Any casual fan of Game of Thrones will know about Tyrion Lannister.
SPOILER ALERT: This blog post contains some info on several plot points from the Game of Thrones fantasy television series. If you’ve not finished the series-- or never started and would prefer not to be spoiled-- now is the time to click away from this blog and go on’ bout your day.
For those reading this who don’t know, Game of Thrones is one of television’s most popular shows of all time (Wikipedia link).
Tyrion is played by actor Peter Dinklage.
In the TV series, the ‘halfman’ as he is sometimes known, is the sometimes prisoner of war and sometimes Hand of the King (royal advisor and numero dos in the kingdom)-- and always least-favored of his wealthy father's children.
While the little man’s character is often befuddled by drink and love, the drinkin’, thinkin’ imp (as Tyrion calls himself), speaks his own truth-- even when he lies-- makes his own luck, and is not unknown to boozy musings of humor and wisdom.
A philosopher with a winecup forever in hand, Tyrion Lannister is easily the most quotable Game of Thrones character, pontificating on topics like:
- greed and gold;
- debauchery and slavery;
- dwarfism and cruelty;
- Incest and bastardy;
- wine and drunkeness;
- power and corruption;
- envy and madness;
- violence and murder;
- dragons and crossbows;
- confession and revenge;
…and of course this randy dwarf’s favorite topic (sex, lust and whores).
Not exactly a paragon of virtue or morality.
But you can say one thing for the funny little guy.
Tyrion was never boring.
Tyrion’s quick quips and witty musings are definitely worthy of reflection for the Game of Thrones aficionado-- and for our readers, he or she seeking a better relationship with himself/herself and his/her love partner.
Whew, that was a lot of pronouns just to tell you we decided to publish a few of the witty-and-wise gems from the series that resonated with members of our CubicZirconia.com team the most.
No it does not change our minds from saying Tyrion offers some good relationship advice…just because he was a bit obsessed with lust and whores and he did end up strangling his primary love interest.
After all, she did knowingly have sex with his father and provide false witness that resulted in him being sentenced to death for a murder he didn’t commit.
Either one of those things might have any one of us pretty hoppin’ mad…and who hasn’t at least thought for a moment about strangling a loved one who didn’t betray you so ruthlessly? (thin line between love and hate and all that)
Tyrionism 1: “Love is more powerful than reason. We all know that.”
We couldn’t agree more. Love has caused human beings to do a number of quite irrational things for millennia.
Sometimes it’s even the irrational things we do that win us the love of someone we think is perfect for us. At least, according to Mrs. Cubic Zirconia…it’s part of what attracted her to her admittedly crazy husband.
Tyrionism 2: "Everything's better with some wine in the belly."
Tyrion is no stranger to what constitutes a good life! He has an unquenchable passion for wine, women, and love. Some of our team here can happily get behind all of those things. Some might choose just 2 of 3. That was a dirty joke, ok?
Considering he's one of the most compassionate of GOT's characters, it's hard to begrudge the Lion of Lannister getting his drink on. Of course, in the era where the series is set…there weren’t any cars to smash up in a drunken haze. But for the actor, we have this Dadvice: don’t drink and drive, Dinklage!
And while his bedroom antics would be frowned upon by most major world religions, Tyrion goes out of his way to be generous, caring and seeks to do no harm to his lovers. Plus he’s usually open-handed with the wine. Real modern girls like that as much or more than fantasy gals from the olden times.
Tyrionism 3: "Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face."
Contemplating a $20,000+ ‘natural diamond’ engagement ring purchase?
Take Tyrion's advice on this one and leave that thought chained up in the basement-- especially if you’re taking on debt to make the purchase.
Of course, you know our advice. Save money and get her a dazzling 5A cubic zirconia diamond alternative engagement ring instead. Then you can use that $20,000 to put down on a house, to invest in your financial future, or buy barrels of wine if that’s your thing. Don’t worry-- we won’t punch you in the face (unless you really need it).
Tyrionism 4: “I was only thirteen, and the wine went to my head, I fear. The next thing I knew, I was sharing her bed. If she was shy, I was shyer. I'll never know where I found the courage. When I broke her maidenhead, she wept, but afterward she kissed me and sang her little song, and by morning I was in love.”
Isn’t the first time so sweet for each of us? The hesitation. Thick tongued. Stumbling around and heavy petting. By turns shyness and boldness.
It does take courage to get close to the person with whom we want to spend our life. But without that courage, there can be no love.
We’re sorry, Tyrion, that your first love was run off by the cruelty and lies of your scheming and horrible family. We really think Tysha liked you for you!
Tyrionism 5: “The young ones smell much better, but the old ones know more tricks.”
Tyrion was talking about the women available for pleasurable companionship at a brothel... but at least one CubicZirconia.com staffer thinks this could just as easily be applied to husbands.
We have no further comment.
Tyrionism 6: "Nothing. Sometimes nothing is the hardest thing to do."
Ever the diplomat, Tyrion seems to sense when to take action and when to sit back, and do nothing more substantive than take a drink and think.
In fact, it's very nearly a survival instinct in him. Yet even as he likes to take time to do nothing, he’s forever getting interrupted with work while trying to tell that always-unfinished joke about the time he walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass.
If ‘take a drink and think’ safe at home alone were a more popular hobby, how many horrible, no-good, very bad first dates would never have happened?
Tyrionism 7: "Sometimes duty is the death of love."
When love becomes a duty, it's a bit like a job. And, worse…it could be a thankless job.
Those of us that aspire to create and maintain top-shelf relationships, ought to find the fun in topping up his or her emotional cup abrimful with words and deeds of affirmation, love, affection, romance, appreciation, service and quality time.
Let love be your fun hobby, keep it fresh and avoid feeling like it’s a job. It helps if you can role-play a bit. Why not dig a tunnel from your house to hers and insist that you can only visit each other in costume? It kinda worked for Tyrion and his lover Shae.
Tyrionism 8: “I am generous. Loyal to those who are loyal to me. I’ve proven I’m no craven. And I am cleverer than most, surely wits count for something. I can even be kind. Kindness is not a habit with us Lannisters, I fear, but I know I have some somewhere. I could be… I could be good to you.”
While it isn’t the most romantic proposal idea, in the world of Game of Thrones when and where a high-born lady may have little choice as to whom she marries…at least Tyrion made a real effort to show his intended bride he wasn’t a complete monster (despite following his father’s orders to forcibly marry her).
When the show ends-- Tyrion having kept his promise not to follow his father’s second order to forcibly impregnate his young and beautiful wife Sansa-- there’s a mutual respect and maybe even some affection between him and his escaped wife.
That’s a long way from the excruciating fate of Sansa’s sociopathic second husband, Ramsay Bolton, who took her virginity during a horrific night of rape (warning: Youtube link is graphic).
Spouses take note: kindness and goodness make up for many bad circumstances-- at least a little, anyway! And if you’re an idiotic jerk, you might get your face bitten off.
Tyrionism 9: "Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the other side?"
Take heed, young partners, newlyweds and cohabitors thinking about marriage!
The grass isn't always greener on the other side of that wall. Tend to your own garden on this side of the wall-- because on the other side instead of something good, you might just find a fanatical, supernatural species of reanimated dead bent on human death and enslavement (starting with you).
As Tyrion so wisely implies, mind your own business and don't worry about what's on the other side of that wall. As he himself might say: “Piss on you, wall”.
Tyrionism 10: "I am malformed, scarred, and small, but…abed, when candles are blown out, I am made no worse than other men. In the dark, I am the Knight of Flowers."
Yes, Tyrion, sex is fun in the dark. And we all are worthy of giving and receiving love (not just pretty boys and girls).
Tyrion may be a dwarf, and admittedly quite ugly, too-- even before he loses a chunk of his nose-- but he has the heart of a giant.
And if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the real world where fantasy is but an imitation-- and what’s real is what’s inside… in matters of the heart, the heart matters.
Tyrionism 11: “It’s easy to confuse ‘what is’ with ‘what ought to be,’ especially when ‘what is’ has worked out in your favor.”
When you’ve got a relationship that turns into a marriage, the tendency is for humans to take it (and each other) for granted. ‘What is’ worked, yes. But it doesn’t mean that you should stop trying to create together ‘what ought to be’.
We're still together but as husbands and wives, it's usually pretty sure in any given relationship that we can each do better to show and tell our love for the other.
Don’t fall for the trap, guys. You haven’t won her yet. Don’t get too comfortable, ladies. Your man deserves to know you want to continue being special just for him.
Tyrionism 12: “I’m here to help. Please don’t eat the help.”
The little lord Lannister was speaking to a giant, violent, fire-breathing, dragon when he said this little nugget of wisdom. Maybe at that time the dragon wasn’t yet a man-eater…but you know it was thinking about a small, dwarf-sized snack while Tyrion was just trying to help remove its chains and collar.
That makes us wonder how many bickering couples get nasty and verbally ‘bite the face off their lover’ when the going gets tough.
Unfortunately, it’s human nature when scared, worried or angry to lash out at whomever is closest to us (in caring and/or in proximity). And when our significant other is genuinely just trying to help, they’re right there in the line of fire.
Before you bite your sweetie’s face off, take a breath without getting the flames ready to fire at them…and consider if the caring friend reaching to help undo that thing holding you back is really trying to help or hurt you. Isn’t our (future) life partner deserving of that benefit of the doubt-- that he/she really is there just trying to help you get free from what’s holding you back?
Tyrionism 13: “"Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it."
Tyrion shares the world as he sees it. Facts can be brutal. Lies may protect the ego. Honesty may feel cruel at times.
But truth is inevitable; it can be delayed but not avoided. When it comes to relationships with our significant other, honesty really is the best policy.
Better to be honest and appear thoughtless, foolish, or a jerk-- than to lie, be found out, and remove all doubt that you’ve been all three.
Mr. Cubic Zirconia: “This is especially true when you’re married to a dragon (and all women have sharp claws and can breathe fire if you piss them off)”.
Tyrionism 14: “What unites people? Armies? Gold? Flags? Stories. There's nothing more powerful than a good story.”
The first line of our email followup for new subscribers and customers says “In the history of business, mankind has never known a mass-marketed product or commodity more overpriced than the naturally-mined diamond.”
When we wrote that, we fully expected the reality that some new, first-time customers would read that in their first “welcome email” from our brand, unsubscribe from our email marketing-- and immediately ask for their money back on a purchase they just made.
That is the power of the ‘real is rare’ story the diamond cartel has told people for a century. It’s deceitful, manipulative, false…and strangely compelling.
Countless people of multiple generations in all sorts of countries with different cultures believe the lies-- and we can’t teach them all the truth.
The power of their story is so strong that some psychologists have compared the great lies of the diamond industry to brainwashing-level advertising. There’s no surprise, then, that we call our own education efforts “diamond de-programming”.
Tyrionism 15: “I want to comfort her. I want to make her laugh. I want her to come to me willingly, to bring me her joys, her sorrows, her lust.”
Here, even though we can’t condone a marriage without consent-- such as that Tyrion’s father insisted happen with his son marrying the young, noble beautiful virgin Lady Sansa-- for the morality of the times (as depicted in the fantasy TV series), we don’t feel it’s outrageous to give Tyrion ‘credit’ for not forcing himself sexually on his wife. The pressure for him to do so was pretty intense. He refused.
Real couples that are made to last accept that laughter has to be earned. They know that joy and sorrow are flip sides of the coin (and a caring partner accepts his/her mate’s need to share either). And that it’s common over a long relationship for sexual desire for one or both partners to ebb and flow, increase and decrease.
There’s peaks and valleys but damn it was a really dry time for Tyrion. Poor guy, huh? A loveless wife and a sexless marriage but at least he had his brothels. Will Sansa ever willingly give her lust to her husband? We never get to see-- and frankly that’s a good thing. But at least some of our team members like to imagine that in the world of the TV series it actually does happen. After all, the two are very compatible in lots of ways (as even they themselves see long after their arranged marriage).
Tyrionism 16: "Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."
Tyrion is acutely aware of his shortcomings–- pun intended. Indeed, arming himself with this self knowledge lets him not only anticipate the biases of others, but also lets him use how other people see him to his advantage.
He knows very well that others see him as a drunken dwarf, but there's much more to him than meets the eye. What about you, dear reader? We’d imagine that like us…you, too, have your own flaws. And if you’re not yet married we’re here to tell you that your future life partner will have flaws, too. And they’ll know your flaws for sure.
When you each know what’s not perfect about the other, you can give grace and forgiveness, make acceptance and be an encourager-- or resolve to work together to improve each of you. But it all starts with knowing where you’re weak.
Tyrionism 17: "I try to get to know as many people as I can. You never know which one you'll need."
Tyrion Lannister is a paradox of virtues and violence in his relationships with other people. We’re talking about a leader who courageously led frightened men in battle to save a city’s citizens (despite the fact that most of them hated him), but condoned his bodyguard beating a man almost to death to steal the victim’s female companion for Tyrion himself.
A lecher who goes out of his way to assure women he’s paying for sex that he won’t harm them, while ordering the torture of political enemies. A ruthless pragmatist who befriends a naive bastard boy and offers him advice…before following his lord father’s orders to forcibly marry the boy’s noble sister.
It’s easy for other characters in the series to love AND to hate Tyrion-- and people watching the show love and hate him, too.
He gets himself in all kinds of crazy situations but seems to make his own luck getting out of them.
So often, Tyrion gets by with a little help from his friends.
So, too, can we.
Will you be our friend?
And speaking of you, friend…
Do YOU have a favorite Tyrion Lannister quote or scene?
We'd love to hear your own “Tyrionism”.
A fount of life tips and wisdom, Tyrion's school of thought surely transcends the boundaries of Westeros!
Mr. and Mrs. Cubic Zirconia
P.S. Not much to do with jewelry here, today. Or our more common content topics of lessons for a better married life, diamond de-programming, dating during marriage, gift giving, or how jewelry is made (unless you wanna count our reco that a couple watching GoT together can be pretty fun quality time).As a wise man once said: “Perhaps that is the secret. It is not
what we do, so much as why we do it.”
So why’d we do it?
- To make you think.
- To bond a bit with our customers.
- To make you laugh.