Hello, dear reader. Mr. Cubic Zirconia here to write this product description today...I hope you won't give me the cold shoulder; please permit me a moment of your time...

A hush falls as the house lights slowly dim. She comes through the heavy oaken doors, gliding down the center audience aisle with all the coolness of a swan ice...

Slim, sexy, and maybe a little bit sassy? Yeah, we're talking about you-know-who...isn't she a bona-fide beauty with a hint of French-model attitude and pouty, infinitely kissable lips? If that...